He’s Just Not That Into You

Ain’t it funny how you can pine over and be so passionate about something or someone and then suddenly, the love is gone?! What causes it to go away? This has been one of my biggest fears: to commit to something fully and spend lots of time, energy, and heartache, only to find out you don’t want it after all. I can’t say I’ve ever fully committed to anything other than my former marriage, at least for a time, but I have been known to feel quite intensely about experiences and people. Recently, I’d been feeling  drawn to a long-term friend of mine, but since he lives far away and is not good at keeping in touch, I had to contend with fears, frustration, and fantasies. Finally, I decided to phone my friend, which was not an easy feat, as I didn’t know how to dial overseas with only a cell phone. Turns out you can call using the internet! Still, I  had to figure out the dial-out-of-US number, which I always get confused with the dial-in number, as well as the country code, once digging up his home number. With all that effort, I expected him to be a bit more animated, when I got him on the line. The phone disappoints. Silences are monumental. Expectations are high. Mine were dashed. Sometime soon after the call ended, I was no longer intensely drawn to my long distance friend anymore. And it was all because reality hit me like a ton of bricks: he just wasn’t that into me! So be it. End of story. Time to move on. Taking the effort to find out how things actually stood made all the difference.

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