One More Year

Howdy folks! It’s been over a year since I last wrote and almost two years since I started this blog. Suddenly, I have the urge to write again. Not sure which of the two incidents today are more urgent – “ball sack guy” or “my audition.” Well, how many for the ball sack? Anyone, anyone? No one with the balls? Okay, guess I have to talk about the audition then!

So, a few weeks ago I had the bright idea to try out for an improv group (professional, no less!) at the encouragement of an acquiantance who was already in the cast. As the day drew closer, my nervousness rose to a fervous pitch and there were several moments where I thought it might be best just to withdrawal my bid for recognition under the theater lights. Today was the actual day. As I drove by the theater, I saw a bunch of people going in and I thought, “either there are a lot of people auditioning for this company or I am gonna be on stage in front of a packed audience!” As I parked my car in a nearby ramp, the ugly thought occured that perhaps if there was a performance at the theater, the auditions were to be held elsewhere! Why oh why had I been too proud to ask where they would be held?! For a nanosecond, I was almost relieved! I wouldn’t have to put myself out there! I went into the theater which was so huge, the hallway looked like a mall and found the box office. Sure enough the auditions were just across the hall. I filled out a two paged form, feeling like a job applicant, with a fellow auditioner as others arrived and did the same. In a while, we filed upstairs to the top floor and introductions were made all around. Nice folks! I started to relax a bit. Oh! We are gonna do a song game! Yay! I like to bounce from one song to another! Next, some mirroring. Ummm, not so liquidy smooth – more like slow as molasses! A story string – I can do this – remember the crazy story I wrote with my friends on the high school bus? Working with one cast member and coming up with a scene from nothing. Okay, got something to start with. But what the heck am I doing? Acting all pleading like an idiot?! Answering questions in a circle – fun, because I can make the shit up as I got along, but nothing brilliant is coming to mind and I’m a bit slow on my feet. Annnnnd, it’s over. Already? That was fun! Sorry to go!

Once back at home, I shot out a brief thank you email style and told them how much fun I had. Then went for a hike. Later in the evening, again back at the ranch, I was surprised to have a response already! The email was very friendly, cordial, and supportive, but a no. I have talent and should pursue classes. Really? Come on, do you really believe that or are you just trying to let me down easy?! Because I would prefer the truth. We all know I’m mediocre at best! The nice words cushioned the fall but still, I twisted my ankle and have been wincing in pain all the same. Ouch! Being rejected is NOT fun! Will I ever know success? Do I have any talent that I can REALLY excel at or am I just a jill of all trades and a mistress of none? I’m on a desperate search before the money trickles through my fingers! At any rate, I guess what they say is true, “you can’t win it if you aren’t in it,” “no pain, no gain,” “you snooze, you lose.” What?! Okay, stick a fork in me, I’m done.

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