A Week To Look Back and Be Present

I wrote a post a couple of days ago but the only thing that saved somehow was the title. I hate when that happens!

Last week, I performed my one woman show Love You So Much twice, and I felt satisfied with the outcome: I put my true self out there without apology and the audience loved it! Yay! If you’d like to see it on video, here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orz45kQynzw

This week, I’ve been spending time with my dad, as he turned 80. On Sunday, I helped my Aunt Rosa (his sister), and my cousins Trudy and Susan put the finishing touches on a huge meal to celebrate his birthday. It was wonderful to learn some of the dishes that my Oma (grandmother) used to make. I never had had the motivation to learn before, but one day, you realize, it’s now or never. So, I helped fry up some crepe-like Palatschinken and peel and rice potatoes for dumplings. It was interesting to see how such a simple dish like Palatschinken (crepes you fill yourself with jam and then roll up and stuff in your mouth) could satisfy so many people, even those who were not born eating it, like Trudy’s ex-husband who stopped by. The dinner itself was very enjoyable, eating yummy food and chatting and reminiscing with family.

A few days later, I made my Oma’s hazelnut cake that I mentioned in my show. It was not an exact copy of hers, but the taste came out fairly well. The cake was presented to my dad at the restaurant that his girlfriend’s children owned. This was my first time meeting them, and they were all very nice and welcoming. In fact, I got to meet even more family yesterday at Thanksgiving and I felt very comfortable, perhaps because there were immigrants, foreigners, and first generation Americans there, which is a population I am part of.

Tonight I will be going to meet up with classmates from high school, for our 30th anniversary. I know at least one friend who will be there, so I’m looking forward to it, but also am a bit nervous. Reunions are often fraught with high expectations. But five years ago, I went and it was fun, so hopefully this time will be comparable. It can be interesting to see how people have changed and how they have stayed the same.

I used to enjoy looking back but so much has changed in the meantime, it’s almost too painful. I am trying to reconcile what was with what is. There are lots of good memories to focus on and although my father is getting older, and we are all getting older, there is still a lot of life left to live and so let’s focus on living it, right here, right now.

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